Painting Over Rust

We all know what happens when we do things in haste, cut corners, don’t engage in the necessary prep work, and slap on a coat of paint over an unprepared surface. At first, it might appear to look improved for a while, yet over time with wear and tear, whatever was underneath will begin make its way to the surface once again.

Painting over rust merely covers it up, not eliminating the problem, which can continue to spread beneath the paint and weaken the metal. I can assure you that I don’t have a side hustle at Home Depot. However, when my husband used that expression, painting over rust, it grabbed my attention. I am going to share two painting over rust memories that I have.

I can recall my autobiography that I had to submit as part of my admission process into the clinical pastoral care/chaplaincy program. My supervisor, Linc, called me, and reported that I needed to resubmit it as I had not mentioned my parent’s divorce, how it had rocked and turned my then sixteen year old self on her head.  What?! How could I have tried to gloss over this? Yet, there wasn’t any paint, I had omitted it completely. Truly amazing how our minds selectively sift and sort, deciding, what to include and what not to. The searing hot, painful, still filled with smoking embers gets stuffed down. Because to breathe oxygen upon it, makes it become real once again. Hadn’t I already felt it enough? Apparently not, because if I had, it would have been included as a significant and life changing event in my adolescence.

As an elementary school teacher, I cringed and dragged my heels each when our math books landed on the metrics unit. I had to study each spring to refresh my memory. Year after year my students received the lowest test scores on this unit than any of the others. I cut corners, resisted doing the necessary preparation beforehand, and it resembled closely a paint over rust experience.

Understanding that if any of my former students moved abroad to countries where metrics are used that milli the mouse, centi the cat, and deci the dog wouldn’t take them too far. I have no doubt that some might have a recollection of how I fumbled through and couldn’t wait for it be in our rear view mirror. Deep sigh.

Most certainly not one of my finer teacher moments, yet I did rock long division, fractions, and geometry! My darling mom in spirit made me add that, as she never could handle my truth telling on myself. I tried to explain to her that it’s what made me feel the most free to be able to share these messy human moments. I’m not sure she could fully buy into it, yet she tried and was open to hear how it landed for me. It’s a foundational piece that has become my brick and mortar for my building relationships that align and significantly matter. Only putting out on display the shiny, well, that’s like the glossy paint job over rust. Show me what’s under the hood, that’s where all the good stuff resides, rust and all.

***A stunning and brilliant life affirming mantra offered by Angela Paul.***

I am safe in the light and in dark

I am safe in health and in illness

I and safe in love and in loss

I am safe in praise and in blame

I am safe in knowing and in excruciating uncertainty

I am safe in calm and in unrest

I am safe in joy and in sorrow

I am safe in life and in death

I am safe Divine Mother because I know that thou art ever with me, guiding, comforting, and unconditionally loving me.

Beyond what my weary mind can ever truly comprehend and which my soul has absolutely no doubt.

I am not this fleshy temporary human vessel, or my restless, questioning mind.

I am not my experiences, opinions, preferences, yearnings, strengths, flaws, failures or my successes.

I am not young or old.

I am so much more.

I am an ageless, eternal soul having an extraordinary, gifted human experience.

One that is both beautiful and bewildering, scary and sacred, fragile and fleeting, exhilarating and exhausting.

It’s all that and more.

So much more.

Every moment of every new day, however it shows up is, I live with awe, amazement and deep abiding gratitude for the immeasurable blessing of being alive.