Who Do You Think You Are?

Artist: Lucy Campbell

Who do you think you are? I recall hearing this as a child from time to time, and generally after I had a totally reactive kid moment. Actually, more than ever I knew who I was. I had not forgotten yet, and came in fully equipped to not have to rely on anyone passing along who or what they thought I was or should be.

Don’t you believe we come in with this innate knowledge, an inner knowing, and then we’re plonked down within these families, who are also trying to remember. Our divine download that came with us, like having a service dog glued to our sides sniffing out danger, even before we are aware. It can often become confusing to navigate when one is a sensitive being. Feeling unsure of where we begin, end, and others within our spheres too.

I’m not clear as to why we have to forget or do we? Children have  not forgotten yet, and that is why they are free spirited, courageous, saying the things that no one else might say, and unsure of why they are shushed, frowned upon… Why is it not okay to say whatever pops into our minds as wee ones? No filters, yet, probably the truthiest truth as Glennon Doyle reminds us.

As a former teacher, I held the exquisite job of trying to keep those free spirits in tact, yet show too, that sometimes we must follow some kind of protocol for our safety and the well-being of ourselves and one another. Most often a huge debate would follow, and honestly, many valid points were made. I truly never had any anwers, simply more questions.

How to share softly, not using a hammer, when someone was invading our bubble, and how to go about doing that took up a lot of time in our classroom. Often what needed to be taught in the textbooks, just did not come close to what was happening in real time in our classes or out on the playground.

Class meetings, carpet time, so meaningful as we might stop everything if something more important was brought to our attention. A bullying situation, someone not feeling safe, left out, and the list went on as my students created it.

I took a back seat, and watched how they moderated, got to the heart of what was happening, and came up with many viable solutions. Very rarely did they need me to intervene, as they were learning these life long skills of how to interact with one another in kindness and care.

If ever as adults we require a reality check as to how we are truly doing, ask a child or get around a beloved animal. They will check your emotions with one ‘sniff’ literally. Asking you what is wrong, even when you are not sure you are ready to share. Hold everything, the class is stopping for you to have your carpet time.

I lost count on how many times they called me out, when I might have thought I was doing such a bang up job ‘hiding out.’ They took one look as I fetched them at the door to come into class, and most likely a little hand would find mine to walk me in.

Let’s remember who we are. No one gets to tell us. It’s an inside job, and one where at times we absolutely need others to share their experience of us. Yet still, it’s from their being, and only we can decide if it’s pause worthy or not.

“What if the parts of me I desperately wanted to fix were actually the parts that kept me alive?” ~ Sophie Strand

*My gratitude for your presence here. If you like what you are reading, clicking on the heart at the bottom of the page helps me get this out into the ethers. Also, your comments are engaging, assisting our community, and please never hesitate if you feel called to pass any along to someone you are thinking of.