There's a Rhythm
- spacetofeelings
- Apr 22
- 3 min read
Can I feel another way?
Or are less and more the same?
Can I still really complain?
To be back here once again
There are miles and miles of tape
You can watch it, it’s been saved
There’s a rhythm to reclaim
Get tall and walk away. (First verse of Justin Vernon’s (Bon Iver) song, There’s a Rhythm in his new album, Sable, fable.
I simply adore this artist, and this is his first album in six years. In interviews he expresses immense burn out, needing to step away, out of the spotlight and back into himself. Fame came swiftly, becoming overwhelming and exhausting. Justin recalls observing himself in interviews that he was not fully embodied, simply there, yet not there. Needed time, cocooning, soul searching, therapy, all of these vital ingredients for his ongoing healing that he speaks very honestly and candidly about currently.
How often have we made ourselves tall and walked away? Even if the circumstances required us to make ourselves as small as we could to safely remove ourselves. Perhaps not even having a plan of what may be next, yet knowing that we must. I suspect some of us house this inner barometer that is finely attuned. Sensing the slightest whisper of a barometer change, and making the necessary adjustments. Other circumstances, require a cosmic two by four accompanied perhaps by pain, discomfort, frustration, angst, perhaps even anger, which can often become a powerful catalyst which demands our immediate attention. I really try to take out any questioning and wondering why it required the amount of time that it did. Rather, offering myself a gentle approach of understanding that I simply cannot always perceive, understand, nor am I always meant to. This is where my trusting in a power greater than myself, releasing my white knuckled grip on the steering wheel can allow that which desires to go, to actually leave. Creating space that may lay fallow for as long as needed.
How often can we drop into the seasons that we’re being presented, and remain curious. And now I think you need some space, I will pause and stand with spade. Rather than the mindless filling which we may attribute to our worthiness? I am here, in this season, presently, as I’ve given my notice that I’ll be saying good-bye for now to my library gig at the conclusion of the school year. It has absolutely delighted me, has been a vital part of my life for almost a decade, and is something I am so very proud of. I leave a legacy of Love within that cozy haven, and it was never about me. It just asked my ongoing presence along with the other amazing gifted volunteers for a time. It will thrive with a newness which comes when one steps aside. I am excited to see how it evolves, because it will.
The sweet student support woman I report to, said to me, “I realize that we need to be able to share you.” Her words are nesting ever so gently and tenderly within my grateful heart. I’m not sure what may be next, and that is the beauty of this present season. I simply do not have to have the awareness yet. Perhaps it’s time spent with myself, my precious family, and that is the call now? I trust that wherever I’m needed or land, is where I’m meant to BE. The Divine is so resourceful and never wasteful. She absolutely utilizes each of us in ways we could never imagine. I humbly realize that I don’t know much in this life, yet this I do with one hundred percent certainty. What can wax, can wane, there’s a rhythm to reclaim, get tall and walk away.
SABLE, fABLE
Yes, entering a new, unfamiliar season can demand a lot from us. The one day I was the head of our household, the next day Colleen was gone and I was like a zombie. My older daughter took over the household, which left me wondering who I was now, and where I belonged. Eventually I learnt what my new season was like and where I fit in. But it took time, lots of time. And painfully working through many emotions. Finally I am at peace now with the season I am in.