Maternal Magic
- spacetofeelings
- Mar 17
- 2 min read
What do you call parents who can no longer parent? I stop myself from saying parents who no longer have children. Death does not alter that fact… The verb that does not die is to be. ~ Yiyun Li
I awakened from a sweet and tender dream. There were three oh, so very handsome young men, searching for the love of a mother. I did not have to understand their individual stories. They allowed me the supreme pleasure if only in my dreamworld, to tap into a well spring of maternal love. A primal earth force rising from within, often with no place to land.
As I have been sifting, sorting, and packing I came across this last penciled Mother’s Day sentiment from Douglas. I adore how he always added an extra l to the word, wonderful, as well as peaceful. As if one l simply was not enough. (It matters not that I'm a bit ahead, my UK sisters of the heart just had their Mother's Day this past Sunday.)
Wonderfull. Peacefull.
A glass turtle accompanied the note, it is packed safely away for now.
Douglas had become such a turtle lover, and their symbolism is ancient and rich. How they carry their homes atop their bodies, can live on both land and in water, and face insurmountable odds as hatchlings making their way to the ocean.
Survivors.
Just like maternal magic.
I am discovering how I have been gifted with numerous opportunities to mother. Without all the emotional triggers, past woundings, only pure joy in companioning a handful of women who no longer have earth side mothers.
Little could they suspect how much this supports and fills me. Being invited into such intimate and pivotal moments; once a mother alway one. A universal language.
Mothers possess some of the strongest energy and presences I’ve witnessed. My own included who comes swooping into my sessions with my mentor. Adding her wisdom, humor, and how she sees things now. No time for small talk, very direct trying to get to the heart of the matter.
Our mothers are often the very first to step forward, getting in the queue, desiring their messages of love to be received.
Forever mothering.
It matters not if one is a biological parent. There are abundant avenues to showing maternal love and care. Whether it’s by family of choice, our beloved fur babies, and causes near and dear to our hearts.
All examples and expressions of the Divine Mother, stretching her nurturing arms enfolding all her children. Calling each of us by name.
Mothering, beginning first within oneself. Incubating, growing, and casting it forth. Never intended to be contained.
Love this Joanie! Love seeing Douglas' handwriting. I would have loved having a mother such as you. 🌹
I know so many people who have tumultuous and contentious relationships with their mothers: who roll their eyes when an instantly-silenced call from her comes through; when she stays the weekend to help with her grandkids, driving everyone in the house crazy in the process; when she forgets evergreen truths, preferences and oft-repeated requests as though she is hell-bent on being difficult.
These are heart-wrenching moments for me, who also used to ignore my own mother’s calls because I knew she just wanted to gab, asking questions I had already answered a dozen times. But oh, how I would give everything I have and know for one more of those 15-minute chats with much ado about nothing. I had a…
Oh my Joanie 🙏❤️🐢 you must forgive me.
I don't recall you ever sharing with me that Douglas was such a turtle lover? But that is what happens when one abuses substances for as long as I did. I simply can't remember and that breaks my heart.
Now, if you had never shared this with me you can imagine my weeping as I read through yet another beautiful, heart-centered piece of writing.
No one else may know, but you do, that you are indeed the closest thing to a mother I have ever had. You are so many things to me and so many others.
Like Douglas said, in his pricelessnote, "more than words can express." What a treasure and…
I am so touched reading Douglas' card to you. He is blessed having you as a mother. I have another angle on motherhood as a very involved stepmother, it has been different, sometimes difficult and eventually rewarding. My mother passed early (she was 55, I was 27) and I take forward her spirit and rituals to honour her. Thank you for your gifts xx
There are abundant avenues to showing maternal love and care..
I agree, Joanie. I love how you see the act of ‘mothering’ as so full of potential. That we can take the love for our child, which still brims over, and find new places for it to go.
And the note from your wonderful boy is such a special share, thank you ❤️🙏