Living on Edge
- spacetofeelings
- May 19
- 3 min read
Lately I’ve been noticing quite a few references to the word, edge, and I’m growing more curious about it. How it lands for me and might for you?
I remember living on the edge of our small one square mile village that I spent my formative years growing up in NY. I liked that I wasn’t in the middle of all the hustle and bustle. My friends might have to travel a little further to come play at my house. Peeking through the bushes I’d direct their attention to the fact that two houses down we’d be living in a different town.
In classrooms I was most comfortable sitting in the back corners which were the edges of the room. From that vantage point I felt I was actually less distracted. Counter intuitive indeed. My parents could not get a handle on this, reminding me to sit closer to the front. Since that wasn’t going to be happening I reassured them that I wasn’t trying to blend into the walls and that it worked for me.
The first known use of edge was before the 12th century and it was associated in being a time traveler. This definition resonates for me because the natural edges that are found in nature generally provide the most expansive views.
What if after hanging out, refueling within our centers we might be able to inch closer to our edges?Uncovering things we might have yet to discover or have easily forgotten? An edge is defined as: “The outside limit of an object, area, or surface; a place or part farthest away from the center.”
Reading this quote from Martha Beck, she described what living on the edges of our lives signifies. "Stepping back from the Dictator and the Wild Child and becoming the watcher is like thinking you’ve been stuck on a railroad track, able to move only backward and forward, and discovering that you had the capacity to fly along.”
In child loss, I was plucked out of the center of my existence and placed on a craggy edge. I remember peering into the depth of the shadowy abyss that stretched for as far as my eyes could see. There were moments when I wondered if the agony would become too much? Jumping from the edge into the cauldron.
A force far greater than myself swooped in and joined me on the edge. Her gentle, yet forceful voice reminded me that I was now living for two. Douglas was going to help show me how this was done so that we could partner, companion, becoming a team.
He needed me earth side as did others reminding me that we could be far more impactful if I remained sitting on the edge.
Really?
I listened, even if it felt overwhelming to try to comprehend, much less absorb.
Somehow over time I have been practicing how to adjust and expand my view. Witnessing the ever-changing vistas in front of me from the edges of this life.
What I do know for certain is that it’s an endless mystery. I’m grateful I’m still here to occupy my rightful place on the edge. A perch, a forever watcher. Team Douglas and Joanie. We are working Hand in hand, Heart to heart.
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I like to be on the 'edge' of my yoga class. Less to view, more for peace and not being the centre of attention. I reached my edge when Sanjay departed earthside. Wow, these edges have much to teach us xx
A forever watcher, with Douglas companioning you. I love this.
What an interesting reflection on this word, Edge. It can be a precipice, and I definitely identify how we feel we’re teetering on it when we first lose our child.
And yet those outer edges where we become more attuned to observing others, and ourselves, are such powerful places. You have demonstrated that to me many times Joanie. Thank you to you both 👨👩🦳