
Is there anything else? I have been sharing those words towards the end of my mentoring calls and I sense I’m incorporating something that is affirming. It allows for a pause to do a quick scan and often what has needed the most air time, has been pushed down for so many reasons. I do this too, and my mentor and I are both trying to tackle my hard and often very uncomfortable as we begin our call. Much like my housework, the bathrooms and kitchen first, so that I can then coast through what is left.
Listen… just listen to the reverential humming in each person… It’s their soul. ~ Fr. Linc Ure It was referred to as the “toilet bowl swirl.” Maybe not the most aesthetically pleasing visual, yet acutely accurate. When in conversations, we often begin with broad, sweeping statements, creating a wide swirl. As the discussion continues, hopefully it becomes smaller, funneling down to what lies at the heart/root of the matter.
Understanding the craft and art of listening was learned under the supervision of Linc, my chaplain supervisor, who made it appear effortless. He’d always remind us, two ears, one mouth, twice as much listening as talking. Something I realized early on was to quiet my inner critic who thought she needed to have a clever response. Realizing that my only task was to allow the giver of the information to hear their own words into being and find the nuggets of wisdom contained within. Returning for clarification, asking open ended questions, looping back and becoming comfortable with silence. These were my rough edges that were becoming a bit softer and more malleable as I engaged within this life giving practice of sacred listening.
Recently, while in conversation, I asked if there was anything else, and the women I was speaking with wasn’t sure we had enough time? Yet, we did, and she touched upon a tender healing moment, that we’re both extremely aware might have been lost, if we had waited. It became a pivotal healing corner she turned and I’m so grateful as it might have been missed if we had not seized the opportunity.
Much like the store cashier who often says, “Did you find everything you were looking for?” This inquiry, if there is anything else often jolts and awakens the neural pathways in a manner that they are requiring. Often we need to hear these words as another attempt to coax out of hiding, what might be the very thing that needs oxygen and bearing witness to.
“Life marks us up way inside, and when we hold those markings truthfully, understandings develop in the skin of our hearts.”
~Mark Nepo
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