
“Don’t take for granted the love this life gives you
When you get where you’re goin’, don’t forget turn
back around
And help the next one in line
Always stay humble and kind.”
~ Lyrics by Lori McKenna.
Many of you may recall these words from Tim McGraw, singing the song, Humble and Kind. It was fascinating to listen to Lori McKenna, the song writer, describe the creating of her lyrics for it. She was sitting at her dining room table, her children were at school, and she was almost writing to them a lullaby, something that each of her five would be able to relate to. She became very emotional, with the lines I first quoted, which are the ones that has always stood out to me. Explaining that she was the youngest of six, and how each of her older siblings turned back around to make sure she was okay.
I witnessed this first hand growing up with my father in the business world. He was often writing letters of recommendation, and making phone calls trying to connect people. A bridge builder who never for a moment took for granted those who recognized potential within him, and offered him a chance. They propped the door open, and amazing opportunities became his. He devoted much of his life extending that same kindness to many.
A whistle blower, warrior woman friend of mine has dedicated herself to uncovering unethical practices, and has stood up fiercely to and with tenacity to the ‘powers at be’. Exposing and uncovering corruption at the highest of government levels. Currently, she continues to advocate for other whistle blowers by turning back around, generously offering her time, hands on experiences and expertise. She is an invaluable resource in countless ways, and still fully invested within many aspects of it.
I’m not sure if there is anything that means more to be in this season of my life, than to be reminded to never forget to turn back around to see who might be standing there? Where this lands the most poignantly is within the child loss realm. I will always hold in the most intimate and tender folds of my heart those who did it for me, turned around and gently reached for my hand. They had not forgotten those who had been present for them in this way. Placing their backpacks filled with tools that had been companioning them, to share generously with me. Reminding me that there was no one size fits all, and that I would be tasked with the job of filling my own backpack. I could take a peek into theirs, suggestions might be made, yet the creating of mine would become my ongoing assignment.
I noticed how those a few steps further along the child loss path were making plans, they could speak of their beloveds in the present tense, not just past. Filled with an abiding hope of carrying on the legacy of their loves into whatever arenas they might find themselves within. It was unfathomable to me, yet even in my most shattered and crushed state, I believed, because I could witness something within them, that I hoped and prayed might one day possibly be mine too? They told me, just as my 12 step meeting pals had to keep showing up, take it one day at a time, sometimes even in five minute intervals, and to trust that healing could be mine too in time. I am deeply and forever grateful for those hands of loving care that turned back around and reached for mine. Might we heed this life giving and affirming call, and BE that for one another?
“My work is not to imagine that I can bear the weight that someone else holds but a commitment to not look away.”
~Prentis Hemphill, What it Takes to Heal

(Barbara Smith, mother of Evan, remembered to turn back around to hundreds of women. I will be forever grateful she did. She is no longer earth side, and deeply missed by many.)
My whistle blower friend, Judith/ Judy Zimmerman, mentioned that I could use her name. You can Google her and see all that she was and is involved with not only in Utah, yet nationally as well. I am SO proud of her! 💪🔥Grit and Grace extraordinaire this one is.
You turned back for me Joanie and I am so grateful. When I am stronger I will do the same for others xx