A Softer Path

Still finding JOY in riding decades later.

I decided I was

too soft to last.

But then I decided

to be even softer. ~ Andrea Gibson 8/13/75 - 7/14/25

I vividly recall my mom telling me as a wee one that I did not have to make life so hard on myself. Yet, I sense it might have been the generational message that had been handed to me. As it had been handed to her, as well as to my grandmother, and to many generations before.

Delighting in her carefree and calm essence when she returned home from Miss Claire’s, after a deep tissue massage. This was back in the 60’s/70’s, and to notice how relaxed, shimmering from essential oils and donning rosy cheeks had a lasting impression upon me. I just knew my mom was onto something vital for my quiet witnessing and remembering.

Working hard for those goals we desire to attain, I understand this, yet the “no pain, no gain” attitude can often stop us before we ever begin with feelings of overwhelm and defeatism.

Once again, it masquerades like an absolute, and what if something that becomes our passion, actually flows in an effortless manner. Can it be trusted? Or do we begin to go into old default modes of being? Seeking ways to overthink, even to complicate. If it’s too easy, is something missing or even wrong?

What if the thing whatever it may be arrives right on time with a sense of ease? Perhaps even familiar, like meeting a new friend, sensing we have known one another before. Minus the strife, striving, hardships attached? Does it make it any less valuable?

I hope and think not.

Can we recall what has come our way that was picked up as if we had encountered it countless times before?

Learning how to swim and ride a horse felt like that for me.

My dad stepping in as my first swimming teacher as he had been a lifeguard in college. He taught me to befriend, and to deeply respect the ocean. No life preserver for me. First, instructing how to swim underwater, trusting that if I could become comfortable in the depths, on top with my strokes would become second nature.

Next, was treading water, turning over to float, and all the basic strokes. Dad kept referring to me as a natural. Perhaps I had some hidden gills lurking somewhere? His boost of confidence he beamed into my little being was everything.

A similar experience was learning how to care for and ride a horse. Something primal within me knew how to truly be with a horse, listening to it, and working together as a team. Becoming one with Sugar Foot, a feisty palomino, with a very short stride and bumpy gate. I imagined this was how all horses were created. Because I practiced and learned on him, he made all the other horses feel effortless. As smooth as a finely tuned Cadillac.

Can we reflect upon situations in our lives such as these very early two examples that I’m sharing where there was maybe even a bit of surprise with the outcomes? Not as much anticipated sweat upon our collective brows.

Perhaps it was learning a foreign language, picking up a book as a child, and you were reading, creating delicious meals in the kitchen without following instructions, simply tasting and experimenting your way through.

New skills, thought forms, interests, talents, do not always need to be arduous, do they?

May we remain wildly open to second guess softer paths less. Warmly welcoming them as they arrive as a delightful homecoming. Traveling with increased confidence, curiosity, and assurance, even barefoot, as the softness is felt under our feet.

My first swimming teacher, dad and me. Here we are in 1967.

I believed I wanted to be a poet, but deep down I  just wanted to be a poem. ~ Jaime Gil de Biedma

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